Zeroties -- 2000-2009
Ze • rot • ies
WRITTEN about 2008
Sometimes I may be ahead…and other times I may be behind…but at this moment I think the current decade confirms I am “right on time”. A small minority of people are unconvincingly calling the current decade from 2000-2009 to be named the “Aughties” [I published an article in my local newspaper with this suggestion in about 2006] or the similar “Oughties”. Others are against such a ghastly British creation even when they love to copy England’s popular TV comedies (The Office), reality shows (Super Nanny and Wife Swap) and game shows (American Idol). Our hesitation has proven very savvy and wise.
“Zeroties” has yet to win the hearts and minds of the people, but then…
Please watch how it molds to fit the experience we have all had the last 10 years.
ZERO is my hero ever since School House Rocks declared it so. Ever since kindergarten, zero has rolled off our rounded lips. Zero is both the lowest and the mightiest number. It is a value of none, but it makes the place-value system work. 1 is 1 until 12 zeros follow it. Then it jumps all the way to a Trillion 1,000,000,000,000 Wow! That is going to be a “looo,ooo,ooo,ooot” to pay back.
Hidden within Zeroties are the other two candidate names. When you say the deliciously sweeter Zeroties…you hear Aughties hidden inside.
Zeroties gives the decade its own flare and keeps the common ending “ties” (Twenties, Thirties,…Nineties) alive. But beyond that, it adds a hidden message. Read on and you will believe.
For this decade, Zeroties, “unutterable and unknowable” is not the case. Zeroties can and should be said, and it is easily analyzed for all to see, understand, say, and use.
Zeroties? Yes, Zero “ties” the decade together:
Y2K (the year 2000, missing two digits problem)
Zero major world crisis caused by Y2K
Zero airplanes in the air on New Year’s night for most airlines
Since there is no year 0 in the calendar, the new millennium didn’t even start on January 1, 2000…feeling duped we learn it starts on January 1, 2001
Ground Zero
Zero Tolerance Policies – get IU’s Bobby Knight fired and Swiss Army knife carrying Kindergarteners expelled
Eats, Shoots & Leaves: The Zero Tolerance Approach to Punctuation -- blockbuster book published in 2003
Marine “motto” Leave No Man Behind goes to education No Child Left Behind
Zero percent – the US household savings rate in 2005
Zero Grams of Sugar rather than Sugar Free
CokeZero (and Pepsi One – how perfect for the digital age)…Coke runs commercials about how CokeZero steals the recipe of Coke
Diet Pepsi packaging – 0 Cal Carb Sug
Zero Down
Zero Interest
Zero Payments
Zero, Zero, Zero Sales by GM
“Hurricane Katrina Zeros in on New Orleans” – as many stories read
Zero Calories
Zero Grams of Fat
Zero Grams of Trans Fat – from McD fries to Girl Scout cookies
0.???? second Google searches
16-0 Patriots
0-16 Lions
Oprah O Magazine, Obama O Logo
The Oval is the logo shape of the decade – look at car company logos…
Zero Weapons of Mass Destruction found
Michael Phelps wins his 7th of 8 Gold Medals by .01 seconds…effectively zero
Chinese Olympics “Bird’s Nest” a big Zero
Zero percent net gain for the NY Stock Market from 1998 to 2008
Zero new large malls built in America in 2007, 2008, and 2009
Zero or No Income Verification Loans
Zero principal payment loans
Zero Degrees – or a Credit Freeze
Zero Dollar is mockingly passed out on Wall Street
Zero International banks willing to make inter-bank loans at the global inter-bank clearinghouse in New York City at the height of the meltdown -- this was the official credit freeze 10/10/2008 – this bank-to-bank loan exchange is in-between Ground Zero and Wall Street…which are themselves less than 10 blocks apart ---
Economic Ground Zero
Salary Freezes – Home Depot leads the way
Zero raises in many governments
Pay freeze for top 100 White House Officials
Digital TV (Digital information is all coded as Zero’s and One’s) – digital everything – binary bliss
2009 in binary is 00110010001100000011000000111001
Zero Percent Federal Funds rate
Already with no calories, Diet Mountain Dew changes its label from “Low Calorie” to Zero Calories
NASA’s new fascination is studying Dark Matter -- the nothing in outer space
Zero Environmental Footprint
Zero Carbon Emissions
Zero Pollution
Restaurant growth may be below 1% (or 0%) for the first time since it was measured in 1970
For a time Citi (Citigroup/Citibank) – Citibank was the US’s largest bank in May 2008 and Citigroup is the world’s largest financial network -- trades on Wall Street for less than a dollar $0.?? ... …threatening its listing status
41 Companies trimmed or eliminated their dividends by $40 Billion – Blue Chip Stocks with Zero dividends? … GE, JP Morgan, Dow Chemical
Treasury Bills sold for “Zero” percent returns – during the global economic collapse foreigners battle to buy safe US debt
During this last year Federal Funds of about 1 Trillion have been created and distributed -- this trillion dollars is merely digits in a computer – literally nothing
$ 165 million given to AIG execs as bonuses, 3/17/09 members of Congress propose a 100% tax to get the money back – AIG chairman is only earning $1 a year
In Pontiac, Michigan the school system gave every employee a pink slip – potentially all employees could lose their job…or Zero keep them
“O CRDT CHKS” (Zero Credit Checks) Billboard by SafeAuto
Just for fun and a sign of what we can all uncover if we look at this decade through our very gr00vy New Year’s Double Zero glasses 2009:
Zero inappropriate things admitted by Former Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich
Zero people claiming fault for the world financial mess
Zero middle ground between those who loved and those who hated George W. Bush
ZZZZZZ’s the US before 9/11
Claims of “zero attacks on US soil” since 9/11
Effectively, zero net jobs created by Bush Administration -- losing them at about 20,000 jobs per day by the Inaugural
There is no doubt in business, advertisement, government programming, popular culture, language development, digital advancement and historic circles that ZERO dominates or TIES the landscape of this decade and has left its footprint everywhere. As the decade closes out, Zero’s momentum grows and now is the TIME for us to accept the name and capture the collective experience of everyone.
Zer☺ties
